Getting in your own way: 20 self-sabotaging mindsets to let go

getting in your own way

We are all aware of ways to look after ourselves, both physically and mentally, to increase our resilience.

We know what we should do – even simple things like getting exercise and eating healthily – and we continue to educate ourselves and become aware. So why do we act in ways that are sometimes completely against our own best interests? Why do we do things even when we know they will have negative consequences for our health and wellbeing? What is the reason for this self-sabotage?

Sometimes it almost feels as if it is something that is pre-programmed in us. Unhealthy habits don’t form overnight. They are the result of ongoing actions, choices, thought patterns and expectations.

We will always be loyal to our subconscious beliefs, and if our subconscious belief is that we only deserve a certain level of happiness, health or success then we will be unlikely to reach past that.

Unless we manage to change that belief. Almost as if we are carrying out an upgrade, we can create a new blueprint of behaviour and belief.

And the good news is, by becoming more aware of your expectations of yourself and others, you can corral your thoughts and expectations toward promoting your resilience instead of sabotaging it.

Whatever the cause of our self-sabotage we are super at recognising it in others but we aren’t as skilful at recognising it in ourselves. The most effective way to help ourselves stop self-sabotaging is to increase our self-awareness. I’ve certainly found that as I continue to develop my mindfulness I am increasing my self-awareness as a result and reducing the occurrences of self-sabotage.

20 self-sabotaging mindsets to let go

Uncovering your own secret self-sabotaging habits and replacing them with more mindful, self-aware solutions can create a stronger and more supportive foundation for your overall wellbeing. Slow down and prioritise your own wellness so that you can be a happier and more supportive partner, parent, employee and friend – and the best possible version of yourself. You can become your own champion.

You might think about letting go of some of the following mindsets and behaviours to change your self-sabotaging habits:

  1. Caring too much about what other people think.
  2. Ignoring your gut.
  3. Forgetting there’s more than one way to accomplish a goal.
  4. Assuming passion is an extracurricular activity.
  5. Not knowing what you really want.
  6. Believing you’re not worthy.
  7. Letting fear drive your decisions.
  8. Waiting for every detail to line up before acting.
  9. Failing to live your core values.
  10. Refusing to use your authentic voice.
  11. Forgetting that you can always choose again.
  12. Allowing conventional wisdom to dictate your options.
  13. Not knowing your own strengths.
  14. Personalising your failures.
  15. Choosing to be unhappy.
  16. Allowing anyone – or anything – make you feel “less than.”
  17. Believing that this is as good as it’ll ever be.
  18. Choosing the “devil you know” instead of what you really want.
  19. Assuming that being truly happy is a pipedream.
  20. Failing to embrace the whole you, flaws and all.

Do you recognise any of these mindsets and behaviours?

Think about one thing you can do, starting today, to shatter these insidious, destructive, limiting beliefs and behaviours – and take action. You’ll be glad you did.

This blog was written for the Resilience and Wellbeing Network. To find out more about joining the network, contact Lise.